In America, idiots say "for all intensive purposes." In France, idiots say "comme-meme."

Kim says "comme-meme" constantly. The first week here I turned to host mother and said "Comme-meme? What does that mean?" She told me what it meant (even so, all the same, etc.) However, I was pretty sure the expression was "quand-meme" (it is). Yesterday I asked her, "Is it COMME-meme or QUAND-meme?"

She looked at me like I was an idiot.

"Comme-meme."

WRONG! OMG! victory is mine you stupid lesbian asshole.

Today's favorites: blondie, prince cookies (an everyday favorite), the tandoori sauce i finally decided to just steal from the house, knowing that in a short amount of time i'll no longer hit my head ever five minutes, knowing that in a short amount of time i'll have a bedroom door, knowing that in a short amount of time i get to see my brother (wtf! in the midst of everything i've barely thought about it!), flowers my mom sent me that Beatrice thought were hers for a second and I was like oh actually they're mine, thanks and snatched them from her real fast (actually that happened yesterday), "unforgiveable (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VX8_M-KI7IQ)" (actually that happened like a year ago but i'm still lovin it), thinking about how tomorrow on the way to school i'm going to go to a boulangerie i've never been to before and buy who knows what!

themes/possible memoir titles

*French People Never Mess Up Except At Being Good Parents/People/Not Being Total Dillholes
*Chevre's Ok But Cheddar's Better: I Miss Orange Cheese
*French Women Don't Get Fat- But You Will, Stupid Asshole American
*Maybe I Should Just Date High Schoolers Because They Seem Nice And Not Terribly Unattractive When You Live In Paris
*Priorite A Droite Is The Only Thing Shittier Than Your Ugly Face
*I Should Probably Try To Hold Off the Tears Until I Get In the Shower: Life Without A Bedroom Door
*The Heat's Broken and You're Mad I Didn't Notice? Oops! Guess It Was Hard To Tell From the Attic!

I don't mean to whine (yes I do) but my host family is very difficult. Minus the cat. However, today I fell asleep outside in the sun- how many inches of snow has Wisconsin gotten so far? HA!

Things I am INTO: baguette (duh), chevre, chevre pizza, pommes chauffes, coca cola light, actimiel, prince cookies, nutella snack n go's (NOT to be confused with snack n drinks, which are creepy), my audi, violette (always), when kim is being cute and adorable as opposed to obnoxious and spoiled, sitting at school all day doing nothing, carrefour, this leather coat i am going to buy from promod, the weather here, common languages that are not native to either speaker.

Things I am not into: anne and beatrice both being out of the country thus leaving me alone with kim, the electricity not working in the morning, me having to puke for like a million years, kim throwing a tantrum when i try to wake him up in the morning, having to puke more, realizing kim wet the bed last night, having to explain to kim why the tv isn't working. None of those things are so shitty, but when they all happen within 15 minutes of one another, I want to shoot myself.

wham city

Victories:
-Again, Violette shows adoration beyond belief towards me and only me.
-Kim shows adequate adoration towards me, but always much moreso than he does Anne (the Man [creative, witty, inspired nickname came to be after I realized that Anne a) resembles a man, perhaps because she b) is a lesbian, and c) has a name which rhymes quite well with the word "man."]).
-Have begun to call Beatrice by "tu" but continue to vousvoyer ATM, and in doing so, display my respective comfort levels. Quite intentional, yet natural-feeling.
-Bought Most Amazing Shirt Ever (Shitney you'd seriously love this-it involves a cat) for 3 Euro
-Am now able to wake up at 7 a.m. and be somewhat coherent shortly thereafter
-Fooseball (sp? wtf? maybe better to just call it baby-foot?) skills improving immensely
-French skills improving somewhat.

Losses:
-Anne is a bitch and I hate her
-Still not sure how to make the euro symbol while typing unless in microsoft word or unless I find a website with it and copy/paste
-Too many to document. Probably better to ignore.

I can't spell any of the words I learned today. Most of them are names of exotic animals Kim taught me while watching some French variety of Planet Earth.

toujours tout droit

Some things I've noticed in the past few days, and especially since the household dynamic has taken a nasty turn for the worse and I no longer feel welcome here:

1. The cat, Violette, likes me. A lot.
2. I also like her.
3. I not only like her, but at this point would say she is my best friend here.
4. When Violette is present, I feel protected.
5. I also feel significantly less lonely when she is on my lap letting me pet her.

Only 60% of those are pathetic.

On an unrelated note: I like to brush my teeth for an especially long time when Anne is in the TV room and can hear me. I like to think we're all going to learn something from this experience.

-poivrons: leeks (EDIT: as I previously thought, POIVRON means pepper. however, tonight we ate leeks and anne called them poivrons- and also used the word leek- so whatevs)
-riverains (sp?): river-dweller
-tricheur: cheater